A Forgiveness and Compassion Game

I’ve been playing this forgiveness and compassion game for a couple of years now and it can actually be fun in addition to the peace and calm it brings.

The ideal arena for playing is while driving. It works particularly well while driving around Charlotte while it’s raining but any weather condition will do. When water falls from the sky, Charlotte area drivers literally forget all common sense so that’s a super solid opportunity to play this game.

The game is quite simple and totally internal, as are the benefits. When a driver does something either stupid, dangerous or just outright unbelievable take a deep breath and remind yourself “they are doing the best they can right now”.

Forgiveness for whatever they did or did not do, because the reality is they did or did not do it and wishing any differently is an exercise in futility.

Compassion in acknowledging that they are doing the best they can at this moment. Even when we may wish they were at 95% capacity and the best they’ve got in this moment is 50%. You will never know what someone else is experiencing. Extending compassion isn’t a free pass, but it sets you free of wishing they’d behaved differently.

Forgiveness and compassion aren’t about condoning bad behavior. They are both only and always for the benefit of your own peace and dare I suggest sanity. You don’t have to be friends, you just encountered them on the road.

Playing this game while driving is so simple yet the impacts can be profound. And maybe you could also consider extending the same forgiveness and compassion toward yourself at times.

We are human and this life is messy. I know that as I learn I can intentionally choose differently. I also know I’m typically doing the best I can with what I know and what my current capacity includes.

Maybe those crazy, erratic, maddening other drivers are also doing the best they can at that moment. Allowing for that possibility may just make it at least a little less intense during or just after an encounter with one of them.

Playing this game can also make it easier to extend forgiveness and compassion in ALL other areas of your life. Stay curious and you never know what may unfold. All I know is that forgiveness and compassion are anything but weakness, they are powerful tools of liberation.

Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “A Forgiveness and Compassion Game”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC, Heartfelt, Empowering Real Estate in Charlotte NC

 

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The Value of Chosen Family

Let me begin by saying I have a wonderful family. I’m a daughter, sister, sister-in-law and perhaps most of all a proud Aunt. I love my family and they are amazing.

I chose to move to Charlotte over 16 years ago and it’s absolutely home now. None of my family live in the area and especially over the past 5 or so years I’ve been finding and embracing what I call my chosen family.

This chosen family has kind of stunned me and continues to both challenge and inspire me in ways that I didn’t anticipate.

The beauty of chosen family holds SO many gifts and treasures. Since I literally choose them they are each and every one intentional, aligned and purely heartfelt connections.

My chosen family that surrounds me here in Charlotte are quite a varied group from a wide array of backgrounds and personalities. Some of my closest are actually pretty high extroverts, yet they feed rather than drain me. Our conversations hold depth that takes my breath away and we go FAST when we talk.

Chosen family is special because the bonds created and formed are born out of intention and choice. We each choose to let one another closer. We choose to explore the connection and see where it goes.

My chosen family inhabits my closest circles. With some there’s an energetic connection that allows us to communicate without words. A connection that often defies logic but simply works. The soul group I recognize in ways I can’t quite explain. As though their chair was already present and just waiting for them to arrive.

Three years ago I was married and DEEPLY lonely. Today? I’m joyfully divorced and not lonely at all. Because I am so much more comfortable not just with myself but with those I consider chosen family.

When I’m having a meltdown, emotional moment or simply need reassurance that I’m seen and loved, it’s my chosen family that I turn to without question. There is a level of trust, knowing and understanding within those relationships that may defy logic but is stronger than any other connection I’ve experienced.

There comes a time when we are offered the opportunity to choose our non-blood related family. Those connections have the potential to literally change our lives.

With chosen family connections we don’t have to and aren’t expected to diminish or dim ourselves to fit some childhood version of ourselves. That alone is liberating and terrifying. At the same time.

It also feels like the most warm, trusted and comfortable feeling of connection I have ever experienced. My chosen family are held so close to my heart I wonder if they know how much I treasure them.

At the end of the day I belong first and always to myself but the addition of chosen family into my life which also includes my actual family continues to enhance my life in ways I could never have predicted.

I continue to wonder just how good things could get. With my actual and chosen family as my most trusted witnesses, I’m pretty damn sure the answer is beyond my wildest dreams.

My chosen family enhances my life in ways I could never have predicted. I am beyond grateful for their presence, love, support and light in my life. I’m also proud of myself for allowing them in, because that was not always easy or comfortable. Yet it’s turned out to be everything I didn’t realize I was seeking.

Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “The Value of Chosen Family”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC, Heartfelt, Empowering Real Estate in Charlotte NC

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