Buying a Home While Going Through a Divorce. Part 1: Your Team

This is an important topic that came up in my conversation with Charlotte family law attorney Leigh Sellers of Touchstone Family Law recently and it’s worthy of expanding. I’ll be doing a series on this because it’s such an important and multi-faceted topic.

So, you’re separated, divorcing (or considering it) and want to buy a home. Where do you even start?

The state of NC makes separation and divorce an extended shit show. Thanks NC….more than a year is extraordinarily fun. Seriously.

The first of this series will address one of the foundational things to consider: Who do I turn to?

It is NEVER too early to connect with mortgage and real estate professionals that will help guide you.

The reality is that marital status matters when buying or selling a home. It’s foundationally important to have a team of people you trust around you as you navigate life changing decisions.

Not only does marital status matter, the terms of any separation agreement or court ordered terms can have VERY long lasting impacts on your life going forward. It is critical to surround yourself with a team that is looking out for YOU.

If you’re working with a family law attorney that’s wonderful but they’re an attorney, not a financial, mortgage or real estate professional. Before you sign ANYTHING related to divorce make sure it won’t negatively impact your home buying ability.

I have seen it happen where legal documents related to divorce literally disqualify someone from buying a home, not intentionally but simply because of the way they were structured and long lasting implications.

Buying a home while divorcing is layering emotionally charged and stressful processes together and it will amplify your stress level, even if only in the relatively short term. The team of professionals you choose are so critically important because of this fact.

By the way, the BEST professionals will guide and support you as you explore, navigate and make the decisions that make the most sense for your individual journey. Whether that ends up meaning buying a home now, later OR not at all.

My most highly recommended mortgage pros for divorcing or divorced home buyers are:
Rebecca Richardson of Brand Mortgage

Olan Carder of Fairway Mortgage

Pam Abirached of Summit Funding

ALL of these mortgage pros are not only outstanding mortgage resources, they are all sensitive to and respectful of the nature and impacts of divorce.

I wrote and published an ebook and if that resource may be helpful check it out, it’s a free pdf and you’re of course welcome to share it: Badass Chick’s Guide to Home Buying

Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Buying a Home While Going Through a Divorce. Part 1: Your Team”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC, Heartfelt, Empowering Real Estate in Charlotte NC

Advertisements
Posted in Buyers, Home Buyers, Mortgages, Real Estate, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mental and Emotional Bandwidth Capacity During Seasons of Transition

While we’re in the midst of seasons of transition (whether that be buying or selling a home, divorce, business or career change or any other significant life change) our mental and emotional bandwidth capacity typically DEcreases.

These bandwidth decreases aren’t permanent but when stress rises, as it inevitably does during a transition, mental and emotional capacity are both diminished.

It’s perfectly natural that while navigating chaotic processes we simply don’t have our typical capacity at our disposal. There is NOTHING wrong with you if you experience this!

What can you do to address these lower levels of mental and emotional bandwidth capacity?

First, be aware (and reminded yourself as needed) that it’s not a reflection of you. It’s a natural part of the process of transition

Consider which tasks, commitments, activities may become lower priorities during this season. What could you reduce your engagement with or possibly stop doing during this transitional process? No is a complete sentence. Always but especially in the midst of stressful life events.

Consider which tasks, commitments, activities may become MORE of a priority during this season. I’ll suggest that anything related to your recharging, stress relief, anything that replenishes you is always super important, non-negotiably so during times of transition.

What sources of support do you have around you? Trusted friends, colleagues, possibly family as well. Who in your life has the ability to hold safe space when you need an outlet? Who in your life could have the ability to provide more assistance with any of your tasks, commitments or activities?

What boundaries do you need to strengthen, create or more consistently enforce? See my post about Boundaries not Barricades for more info on healthy and helpful boundary perspective

Seasons of transition are something we all experience in our lives. It’s SO common to find our levels of mental and emotional capacity decreased during those seasons. And that’s ok! It’s not forever and it’s absolutely not weakness to shift what, whom and where you spend your mental and emotional energy during these seasons.

Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Mental and Emotional Bandwidth Capacity During Seasons of Transition”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC, Heartfelt, Empowering Real Estate in Charlotte NC

 

 

 

Posted in Buyers, Personal Posts and Random Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment