Let me begin by saying I have a wonderful family. I’m a daughter, sister, sister-in-law and perhaps most of all a proud Aunt. I love my family and they are amazing.
I chose to move to Charlotte over 16 years ago and it’s absolutely home now. None of my family live in the area and especially over the past 5 or so years I’ve been finding and embracing what I call my chosen family.
This chosen family has kind of stunned me and continues to both challenge and inspire me in ways that I didn’t anticipate.
The beauty of chosen family holds SO many gifts and treasures. Since I literally choose them they are each and every one intentional, aligned and purely heartfelt connections.
My chosen family that surrounds me here in Charlotte are quite a varied group from a wide array of backgrounds and personalities. Some of my closest are actually pretty high extroverts, yet they feed rather than drain me. Our conversations hold depth that takes my breath away and we go FAST when we talk.
Chosen family is special because the bonds created and formed are born out of intention and choice. We each choose to let one another closer. We choose to explore the connection and see where it goes.
My chosen family inhabits my closest circles. With some there’s an energetic connection that allows us to communicate without words. A connection that often defies logic but simply works. The soul group I recognize in ways I can’t quite explain. As though their chair was already present and just waiting for them to arrive.
Three years ago I was married and DEEPLY lonely. Today? I’m joyfully divorced and not lonely at all. Because I am so much more comfortable not just with myself but with those I consider chosen family.
When I’m having a meltdown, emotional moment or simply need reassurance that I’m seen and loved, it’s my chosen family that I turn to without question. There is a level of trust, knowing and understanding within those relationships that may defy logic but is stronger than any other connection I’ve experienced.
There comes a time when we are offered the opportunity to choose our non-blood related family. Those connections have the potential to literally change our lives.
With chosen family connections we don’t have to and aren’t expected to diminish or dim ourselves to fit some childhood version of ourselves. That alone is liberating and terrifying. At the same time.
It also feels like the most warm, trusted and comfortable feeling of connection I have ever experienced. My chosen family are held so close to my heart I wonder if they know how much I treasure them.
At the end of the day I belong first and always to myself but the addition of chosen family into my life which also includes my actual family continues to enhance my life in ways I could never have predicted.
I continue to wonder just how good things could get. With my actual and chosen family as my most trusted witnesses, I’m pretty damn sure the answer is beyond my wildest dreams.
My chosen family enhances my life in ways I could never have predicted. I am beyond grateful for their presence, love, support and light in my life. I’m also proud of myself for allowing them in, because that was not always easy or comfortable. Yet it’s turned out to be everything I didn’t realize I was seeking.
Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “The Value of Chosen Family”
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