Back when my marriage ended and separation began I was surrounded by the most amazing, loving, supportive and heartfelt people right here in Charlotte. Hey, Business Sorority!
Those connections were so meaningful to me as I navigated unknown waters. I never felt alone or isolated in any way.
However, after recent conversations with several friends I’m acutely aware that not everyone has that level of connection and support in their lives when challenging things happen. If you’re in Charlotte, check out the ladies of Business Sorority. Seriously.
So if you’re experiencing challenging circumstances, please know that you are not alone. “Divorce” specifically refers to legally ending a marriage but there are many, many forms of experiencing such a trauma and emotional minefield of a process. Whether it’s loss of a parent, a spouse, a child, cutting ties with a toxic family member there are endless variations of such a process.
In fact, I believe we each experience at least one such process in the course of living this human experience.
It’s been my experience that there are SO many women who are divorced but who don’t talk about it. I’ve been stunned to learn how many women in my own life are divorced but never shared until I was in the middle of my own.
Pretty much from the date of separation (hey, November 21st I LOVE YOU!) I’ve been very open in sharing what I’ve gone through. Open is (not at all) a typical method of my previous operating style but I’ve never felt a desire to pack the fact that I’m (now joyfully) divorced away in a drawer to gather dust.
There’s a (mis)perception in our society that divorce is a form of failure or worthy of shame. Both Untrue!!!! I did not fail at marriage. I wholeheartedly succeeded in freeing myself from a relationship that was not in any way serving my greatest good.
So we don’t talk about it. Until we do, usually after someone else shares their story thereby granting permission to admit we belong to the same club.
I only recently reclaimed my own voice and I’m not about to start hiding in the corner again. Ever again. So if we meet I’m likely to share that I am joyfully divorced. And also that I am passionate about working with single and divorced women home buyers.
If you are struggling with a marriage that isn’t working, navigating the divorce process (thanks NC for the year minimum) or are divorced but feel alone in that club – You are NOT alone.
If you’re local here in the Charlotte area and need resources related to Family Law, Counseling and Healing, or simply want to connect with people in your community more deeply please reach out! firstname.lastname@example.org
I recently spoke at both Business Sorority luncheons. I spoke publicly for about twenty minutes, sharing what I’ve learned over these past 18 months to 4 years. DEEPLY personal stuff, but also deeply meaningful to me as I feel a responsibility to share the hard earned wisdom that are the true gifts of that process.
Afterward, I had woman after woman after woman reaching out and expressing how meaningful hearing me share my story was to them. That alone made it worth the apprehension, second guessing, nervousness I experienced prior to speaking. Connection at a level that isn’t superficial is so incredibly healing. As is the freedom to share our own stories.
As the two year anniversary of Freedom Day approaches for me I’m aware of having become a magnet of sorts for women going through divorce. I’m honored to have been trusted with their stories and the ability to cheer them on as they walk their own pathway.
To the women who’ve shared their stories and inspired me to share mine – thank you. And if you’re reading this, please do remember that you are not alone in whatever challenge you’re experiencing.
All the Best,
Copyright©2017 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “You Are Not Alone”
The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC’s real estate market serving neighborhoods in Charlotte NC