The Brutality of Vulnerability

Vulnerability is powerful. But it’s also brutal, uncomfortable, messy and heavy.

It has been a damn year. There have been moments when I’ve literally been overcome with emotion and wondered what the hell is happening. It has been a year of repeated invitations for me to ask for what I need and allow myself to lean on those I trust.

I don’t naturally lead with asking for what I need. The helper in me tends to deny I even have any needs or preference. Which is of course bullshit.

If this year has taught me anything, it’s that there is a softness and beauty in allowing ourselves to be fully seen. In our messiest, most brutally honest, truest and most real selves. When we’re in the dark and have not a single damn clue about what’s next or about to unfold there is power in those moments of allowing.

I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum. They both absolutely suck. It is brutal to witness and it’s brutal to ask. It’s heavy to hold space and not have an answer. It takes immense strength to extend a hand into the unknown. It takes perhaps even greater strength to reach out for a hand when we’re in the midst of the unknown and admit we’re struggling.

Vulnerability isn’t weakness and it isn’t at all pretty. It is messy beyond belief. It often involves tears and conversations we’d rather not have. Vulnerability is brutal. But it’s also a critical ingredient in heartfelt connection.

The recovering people-pleaser in me hates vulnerability. Asking for what I need used to be taboo. I’m learning, growing and getting more experience in not only allowing myself to be seen and supported but also for asking and clarifying what I need. NONE of that is comfortable.

The absolute bravest, most fierce and strongest people in my life also walk this line. Vulnerability is brutal but it’s also strength personified. I am immensely grateful to those who are safe spaces for my vulnerability AND for those who trust me to hold theirs. Both are precious and not at all taken lightly. I love us….you know who you are.

Vulnerability, strength, grace, heartfelt connection, radiant, joy may have been previous years “themes”. Let’s go have some damn FUN in 2019 and beyond! We’ve been given this life because we’re strong enough to live it, the brutally beautiful immensity of it. Together.

Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “The Brutality of Vulnerability”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC, Heartfelt, Empowering Real Estate in Charlotte NC

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Getting Comfortable Being UNcomfortable

As someone who is solidly growth focused and oriented, getting comfortable being uncomfortable is a process. I feel as though I’ve earned a doctorate in personal growth and self awareness these past few years and honestly, none of it was at all comfortable.

Change, transition and growth of any kind are naturally uncomfortable because they’re new and unfamiliar.

There’s a quote that the author Mel Robbins (The Five Second Rule and Stop Saying You’re Fine) shared on her Instagram stories a few months ago: “the price of your new life is your old life”. I love that quote.

It’s relevant when it comes to familiarity with old and outdated (or limiting) beliefs, habits, patterns or behavior. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. You’re also only and always the one with the ability to change your life.

The warrior journey isn’t about combat, it’s about surrender. Which to a recovering people pleaser and control freak is SUPER uncomfortable. Yet also immensely  powerful and groundbreaking.

A friend “suggested” aka illuminated in her unique way that boundaries and intuition are two of my most natural gifts. Stepping into owning those gifts? It’s WAY out of my familiar comfort zone.

Trusting myself is an ongoing process and I don’t always get it right. But I’m working on allowing myself to lean into it and really get curious while also considering how I want to proceed.

I  once asked a friend when the transformation eases up and her answer was “Di, I don’t think it does. I think you just stop getting quite so dizzy as you go”.

Trusting myself, honoring my intuition and boundaries, sharing my natural gifts, talents and abilities does not come easily to me. Yet the wisdom I’ve gained through life experience has shown me that the price of ignoring them is steeper than I’m willing to pay.

So, I’ll keep getting even more comfortable being uncomfortable. One step and one moment at a time. Progress not perfection. I’m FAR less dizzy right now than I’ve been throughout the past three years and for that I’m deeply grateful and so very proud of how far I’ve come.

Surrender and trust aren’t weakness, there’s immense power within them. My closest circle is full of people who are also always navigating these same challenges. They are my fiercest advocates and most brutal mirrors, confronting me in ways that are intense beyond belief but doing so from a place of such deep trust and love. I cannot imagine my life without them in it.

Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Getting Comfortable Being UNcomfortable”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC, Heartfelt, Empowering Real Estate in Charlotte NC

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