Vulnerability is powerful. But it’s also brutal, uncomfortable, messy and heavy.
It has been a damn year. There have been moments when I’ve literally been overcome with emotion and wondered what the hell is happening. It has been a year of repeated invitations for me to ask for what I need and allow myself to lean on those I trust.
I don’t naturally lead with asking for what I need. The helper in me tends to deny I even have any needs or preference. Which is of course bullshit.
If this year has taught me anything, it’s that there is a softness and beauty in allowing ourselves to be fully seen. In our messiest, most brutally honest, truest and most real selves. When we’re in the dark and have not a single damn clue about what’s next or about to unfold there is power in those moments of allowing.
I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum. They both absolutely suck. It is brutal to witness and it’s brutal to ask. It’s heavy to hold space and not have an answer. It takes immense strength to extend a hand into the unknown. It takes perhaps even greater strength to reach out for a hand when we’re in the midst of the unknown and admit we’re struggling.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness and it isn’t at all pretty. It is messy beyond belief. It often involves tears and conversations we’d rather not have. Vulnerability is brutal. But it’s also a critical ingredient in heartfelt connection.
The recovering people-pleaser in me hates vulnerability. Asking for what I need used to be taboo. I’m learning, growing and getting more experience in not only allowing myself to be seen and supported but also for asking and clarifying what I need. NONE of that is comfortable.
The absolute bravest, most fierce and strongest people in my life also walk this line. Vulnerability is brutal but it’s also strength personified. I am immensely grateful to those who are safe spaces for my vulnerability AND for those who trust me to hold theirs. Both are precious and not at all taken lightly. I love us….you know who you are.
Vulnerability, strength, grace, heartfelt connection, radiant, joy may have been previous years “themes”. Let’s go have some damn FUN in 2019 and beyond! We’ve been given this life because we’re strong enough to live it, the brutally beautiful immensity of it. Together.
Copyright©2018 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “The Brutality of Vulnerability”
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